There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize