im drinking this country out of the recession.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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