ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just want nice things and good sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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