We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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