KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize