Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
do herpes really smell.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize