Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize