Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
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I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
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I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
you made out with another girl for some wings
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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