You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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