If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
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he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
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We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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