You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Randomize