If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
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my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
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Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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