you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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