but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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