Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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