Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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