He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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