On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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