I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I think my moral compass just broke
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