oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
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Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
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ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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