i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
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