But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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