I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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