You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize