"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize