i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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