I think I died a long time ago.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize