U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
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omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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