There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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