These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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