and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
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fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
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