you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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