i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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