Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize