even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
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He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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