I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
operation have a gay friend backfired
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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