did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
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We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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