I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
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She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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