are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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