I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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