If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize