I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
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we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
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I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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