we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
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Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
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I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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