how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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