I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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