Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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