We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize