from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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