have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
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