kristin has been a bad kristin
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize